Marshmallow Queen


Lola is a bad girl. I think she’s officially become a teenager. I guess in dog years, she’s technically more in her college-age/sorority/girls-gone-wild phase. Read: She’s a mess. She keeps licking EVERYTHING. Herself, her bed, the couch, my pillow, my hands, Gizmo. I don’t know what instinct is compelling her to lick so much, but it is driving me nuts. Now that the weather is warmer, we’ve gotten past her ignoring me/hiding when it’s time to go out because she doesn’t want to wear her jacket. She actually gets very excited to go out (so excited that I need to yell at her to get her to sit still for her leash), but then she doesn’t want to walk when we get outside. She has to be all leisurely and sniff all the grass and flowers. I don’t have time for that. I spend the majority of the walk coaxing her to keep up with me and Gizmo (who is perfectly happy to keep things at a reasonable pace). She has been particularly bossy lately, lunging at other dogs on walks and in the dog park so she can make sure everyone knows she’s in charge. (Meanwhile, Gizmo tries to stay as far away from the other dogs as he can and can only be bothered by people. He seems to want to greet every one of them.) Over the past month or so, she’s started this new thing where she follows me around when she’s ready to go outside, stands up on her hind legs, and grabs the back of my leg with her front paws. The little jerk is trying to boss me around! Oh, and she barks at babies. It’s a good thing she is super sweet. That’s about the only way she continuously (and sometimes narrowly) avoids a swift kick in the rear. Her latest escapade: smothering herself in marshmallow goo.


For the long Memorial Day weekend, Chris and I got motivated and groomed both dogs. Gizmo got a nice summer cut (he has a double coat, so he may actually have a heat stroke if he doesn’t get a good cut before it gets too hot), and both dogs got showered and brushed. Gizmo is always a perfect angel throughout the whole cutting and bathing process. He pretty much just sits there and does what you tell him to do. Lola, not so much. Per usual, she can’t sit still and does what she wants, which means running away from you in the shower and trying to jump out whenever she feels like it. This time was no exception. I had to forcefully hold her down while trying to dry her, and she still had to make a fuss about rubbing her ears and face all over the floor while it was happening. As this was going on, Gizmo was just sitting in his bed with a mildly concerned/bored look on his face that said, this bitch.


So we had a little Memorial Day get-together at the new house, which is still an active construction site and essentially a yard full of dirt…lots of places to get messy. Our friends brought over their kids, who all had a great time digging in the dirt and sand. Near the end of the party, all the kids looked like sand worms, but the dogs seemed to be in pretty good shape. Of course, Lola was not going to stand for that. I’m not sure exactly what happened, I didn’t see it go down, but as people were leaving, one of our friends came in carrying Lola, whose face and most of one ear was completely covered in and matted with marshmallow. Awesome.  I can see it in my mind: The kids were roasting marshmallows out front (these were giant marshmallows, by the way), one of them dropped an over-roasted marshmallow on the ground, and Lola had to lick it/completely immerse her face in it to adequately determine exactly what it was. Voila! Dog s’more.


That effectively brought the party to an end. Once we got back home, we set about bathing the dogs again (mind you, this happens about once every 3-6 months). Gizmo did his thing (nothing), and Lola did hers (more face-rubbing and general ridiculousness). After everyone was clean, Chris and me included, we were all in bed and passed out by 9. All-in-all, not an entirely terrible way to spend a weekend. 🙂

  1. 2 Comments
  2. Lola
    Jun 9, 2014 at 11:48 pm

    Don’t hate on meeee. I’m just a baby and need love and affection!!! I can’t help it! :(((

  3. Sergio
    Jun 26, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    James is truly offended by this post. He saw the child-culprit/offender/miscreant trying to swing melted-marshmallow-on-a-stick onto Zeus & Lola, but, does not know them by name… The Great Marshmallow Caper.

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