In with a Bang


2015 is happening. And it came in with a bang. I mean, I guess since I slept through the ball drop and champagne and whatever else I should have been doing at midnight, it didn’t come in too hard immediately. It took a couple of days to actually get going for me. But when it finally got going, it was serious.


Monday was my first day of the new year back at work, and by boss tells me she’s resigned. She’ll be gone at the end of January. Uuuuuh, wha? I was shocked. She has been the most stable thing about my job for the last 6 years. She’s amazing. She makes the job worth doing. I cried. I panicked. I texted Chris to tell him it was a sign that I needed to look for something else. Then I went for a walk. When I came back and was calm, I had a nice long talk with my boss about what I saw for myself moving forward and how her leaving might impact me and my future. It was a wonderful talk. And something really good came out of it. For the last 2 years that we’ve been building the house, I’ve been telling her I want to go regional (work from home permanently) after we move. She’s been on board, but there wasn’t a definitive timeframe, so the whole thing has kind of been in limbo. Well, the move is approaching, and her leaving was kind of a kick in the pants to do the paperwork and make it official. So that’s something she’ll be pushing through before she leaves. Really awesome. And something else good – I’ve been feeling really positive at work this week. Something about our conversation and knowing this exciting change is coming has been really encouraging. I’ll take it.


Also, we started our first round of IUI on Tuesday. There was a little bit of drama leading up to this week with trying to get in to see the doctor and get things scheduled, so we weren’t sure it was going to happen. Chris got really involved and started calling people and taking care of shiz, and we got in! So my first appointment consisted of bloodwork and an ultrasound to make sure my hormone levels were good and I had some follicles (eggs) to mature. I even got to look at the screen and see the follicles. 4 in the left ovary and 5 in the right. That made me smile. 9 potential little babies hanging out in there. It’s the first time since we started all this business that I haven’t walked away from an ultrasound in tears. And to be happy about it? There are no words. After the ultrasound, I met with a nurse who gave me my prescription for clomid tablets, a booklet on how to administer at home the injection of another medication that will cause my body to ovulate (I can’t even think about this right now. I’m scared.), and a chart of when to take and administer said drugs. I just took my 3rd pill tonight. The doctor said it was supposed to make me moody and have hot flashes, but I’ve been good. I actually seem to be happier than normal. Super bonus. I have to give myself the shot on Monday (yuck), and then I go back in on Wednesday for them to check me and see if I’m ready for insemination. Woohoo! Sperms! I was telling Chris I feel really good, I think because we’re finally doing something. It feels productive and progressive to be taking some sort of action.


I’m also happy to report that I’ve made it through just over 500 pages of IT. Just about halfway. I haven’t had any nightmares, and I’ve been able to have a successful mid-night pee. It think it’s actually going to happen this time. (Side note: I never did report on my evening with Stephen King. It was, predictably, amazing. Such a special experience with my dad. It was the perfect thing to share with him. He appreciated it as much, if not more, than I did. I even got a signed copy of the new book! That night almost made up for all of 2014.)


Since getting through one of the most horrifying novels of all time is looking so promising, I needed to set a second goal to accomplish in 2015. I would like to be able to do a split. Like an actual split. With my legs. I’ve never been able to do one. Not even as a kid, when everyone is flexible and can do it. I was the tall, awkward girl in my ballet class who barely had enough coordination to bend over without falling, let alone have the grace and flexibility to actually reach my toes or do anything that even remotely resembled proper ballerina posture. While all the other girls were stretching all over the floor and pulling their feet over their heads, I was in the back of the class trying to make the “jazz split” look cool. Newsflash: The jazz split never looks cool. It looks like you’re trying to do a regular split and failing.  (I also could never do a cartwheel, which is another, equally embarrassing shortcoming from my childhood. Sigh.) So now, at the tender age of 34, I am determined to do a split. I’m stretching my heart out…and possibly rupturing a few things along the way. Ballerinas everywhere, you best back the fuck up.


Oh! And my best song so far of the year is Sledgehammer by Fifth Harmony. Don’t judge me. Try to listen to that song without smiling. It’s perfect pop bubblegum cheese. Too cute. If I could insert a GIF of a dancing sperm right here, I would do it. Alas, my technological aptitude has not yet improved in 2015. I’ll just leave you with the visual imagine in your brain.

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